"I've Never Been More Certain"

One year ago, he entered in the back door of the arena, walked straight up to Gator Legend Tim Tebow, stuck out his hand and said, “My name is Haden, who are you again?”  We all laughed out loud.  That was my little brother’s typical humor.  When he walked into a room, he was THE MAN.  Full of humor, love and a heartfelt desire to make people smile.  He always strived for that, even though he was hurting inside.

Haden’s struggles were real for the past 10 years.  He confessed his struggle with alcohol to me in 2016.    Right about the time my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.    He labeled himself as “functioning”.  The next ten years things spiraled downward.  He struggled with drinking, his work and finances.  He kept telling everyone around that he was fine.  But he wasn’t and most friends had no clue.  I struggled as a ministry leader trying to help my own brother, like we do with so many other men, without much luck.  I guess I was a little too close to him to be very constructive in trying to help him see through the issues he faced.  We had also become a little distant over some disagreements within the family.  But when we did talk, I listened patiently as he would call me and scream at God for his circumstances in life.  Questioning His very existence, how prayer was useless.  He followed along with MPACT for a while but became cynical with our focus on God’s Grace to get us through the trying times.  I tried to enlist brothers to come along side of him to comfort and plant seeds to help him take off his mask and begin to heal so he could move forward.  The one man that had the most impact on my brother was my son.  Garrett’s presence always uplifted Haden and his family in tough times. 

It was Garrett who suggested we get Haden and his two sons, Russ and Brooks to Florida to enjoy our Grace for the Family Experience with Tim Tebow and have some Etheridge “MAN TIME”.  We had an amazing weekend of fishing, beach time and the big event where Tim gave a message of hope, purpose and the Christian identity that impacted 2,000 people, including my brother who had previously asked the most famous Christian athlete in the world who he was.  (I still smile when I think about it) Haden quoted Tebow to me after, “Tim said it’s not about me and what I’ve done, it’s about Jesus and what He did.  I’ve never really thought about that before.  I went to church throughout my life trying to perform and never really thought about the finished work of His blood and resurrection and what He did to me so I wouldn’t have to.  And that’s all the guys in your ministry talk about.”

Something changed with my brother after that day.  When he called me, he no longer was cynical with his questions about God.  He wasn’t sarcastic asking about Jesus anymore.  His questions were deep, his comments were still raw, but I saw a softening and peace begin to come over him.  After Christmas, he started showing up in our virtual call with the guys from other parts of the country.  At first, he would just listen.  Then several weeks later he admitted his struggles with his faith during the hard times.  Especially the effectiveness of prayer.  One of our brothers, Darrien, from Chicago, gave him some peace as Darrien said he struggled with the same thoughts sometimes.  I could see Jesus working in and on Haden through others.  He and Jill started going to a small bible church near his home in Denton.  His questions became more serious in February when dad and I spent a weekend with him.  It was at this time I saw his physical condition and sensed his body was not going to hold up much longer as he revealed that his liver was failing and he needed help.

Two weeks ago, I sat with my dear brother in his hospital room.  He was beginning to grasp the fact that things were dire as his liver had shut down and his kidneys were beginning to do the same.  I had sent out prayer requests throughout the entire MPACT network, my church and to our friends and our family that he would be approved as a transplant candidate.  I told Haden that legions of Christians were praying for his healing and peace.  He said to me through a short breath, “Trey I know.  Every night here I have been awakened by them.  I hear the prayers.  I even hear prayers in other languages, and I understand them.  They bring me peace.  I get it now.   I love you bro.  I get it.”

Through a teardrop I asked my brother, “I know you have been skeptical of God the past 10 years.  You know Paul said, ‘If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.’  Do you believe this in your heart Haden?”  He replied, “I do.  I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life.  Please keep the prayers coming.”  I kissed him and left for Florida that day very sad, yet very uplifted.  My brother knows Jesus intimately. About a week later, Garrett, who loved Haden more than anyone, was with my brother, his two sons and some close friends as they came together and prayed as Garrett baptized him in the hospital.  My son said it was one of the most powerful moments of his life. 

Less than four days later my little brother, surrounded by Jill, Brooks and Russ, took his last breath, then opened his eyes and was embraced by Jesus and our beautiful mother.  No more pain, no more stress, a perfect body and peace beyond all understanding.   (I bet he didn’t ask Jesus what HIS name was.) 

Three days after his death, I spoke with Haden’s younger son, Brooks.  He’s been leading a life group for about 8 months with other young men.  He said he thought he should still have their meeting even though his dad had just passed.  He explained how these close friends come together and share each other’s burdens each week.  He thought he really needed to turn to his brothers during this time to help lift him up.  He knows of another brother who is also really struggling through a major issue right now.  We discussed Galatians 6:1-2 and James 5:13-18 and how those verses could be an anchor for their discussions that night and to help my nephew heal.  I wept.  Sounds like he has an MPACT Group to me.  Once again, God is working to turn ALL things into something good.  Not just some things.  ALL THINGS.

My prayer today is, that we all have these types of conversations with our loved ones about who Jesus is and who we are in Christ.  Let The Holy Spirit flow.  I pray we have these conversations sooner rather than later.  A little identity revelation conversation may be just what our loved ones really need, whether in their weakest times or their strongest times of celebrations.  Please, just have those conversations.

Thank you all for your prayers for my family during this very tough time.   We are healing day by day through the power of a Grace that is sufficient for all things.    Peace, prayers and grace to you all. - Trey

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.  Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  -Galatians 6:1-2

 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.  Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.   Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth.  Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.   -James 5:13-18